Who am I?

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I am not religious, but I don't mind calling myself spiritual. Religion, I believe, has, over the millennia, been used as a prop to perpetrate a lot of human suffering. Faith is what matters. I don't believe in the definition of God as a creator. According to me, my God resides within me. Some call it conscience, some call it the sub-conscious, some call it the soul. I don't mind calling it God. So by definition I am not an atheist or an agnostic, but by essence, I may as well be. My God does not reside in a temple, church, mosque or gurudwara. It is right here, within me.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Roll The Credits Please

          In every hand shake, in every pat on the back, there is an undercurrent of guiltiness, of sympathy. It does not repel me like it should. On the other hand, it makes everyone else more transparent in my eyes. Every eye that looks into mine somehow provides me a birds-eye view of the mind of that person. I just smile, nod, and move ahead, never letting them feel that I'm in the know of what they are thinking. I’ll be leaving this job soon. And before that I will be rolled off from this project. And I’m loving it!
          Letting go of this job would never be a difficult decision for me. I never felt like I belonged here. Although I was fortunate to meet a few wonderful people, including my supervisor, but on the whole, this place, this industry was always alien to me. I never quite understood the point of displaying the work completed by you in hyperbole, exaggerating the itsy-bitsy stuff that was made to look grand, larger than life. And strangely, people seem happy to be underutilized, to be working on the crumbs thrown by the client in US, whose main work is being done there, with only the vestiges being worked upon here. I found it baffling how people yearned for authority, how they gloated in making the other feel small. Like a friend of mine recently pointed out, the most famous dialogue that ‘We went through all of this, now it’s your turn’ in itself shows the vanity of their thought process – they could as well say – ‘We laboured hard through it. Now let me give you some tips so that it’s easier for you’; but no, this is not what comes to their mind. And alas, this has become a widely accepted norm in this industry. And indirectly serving a company in the US does not make me feel an active part of this country.
          This article in itself is not a polemic on the IT industry, as it might seem up till now. It is just a personal something that I feel, that makes me want to work for the voiceless, for those who are largely ignored in this race for more – more wealth, more promotions, more than thy neighbour and always more that what one previously had. In my own little way, I want to give back to the society that has given me so much – this education, such wonderful friends and the ability to stand on my own. Like someone once said, you do what you like doing, and the returns will be just incidental.

1 comment:

  1. Awesum..Ur words r very true..In my case, it was the laziness and the comfort that most of my frnds were in IT blinded me..Now trying to escape it anyhow..